HER SAY: What Happens When Women Stop Shrinking
- Erica Rooney
- Feb 28
- 3 min read
Last week, Stacey Penn and I hosted the inaugural HER SAY, and I have not stopped thinking about it.
We capped it at thirty women. It sold out. We had so many others express interest in future gatherings that I lost count. One woman saw me mention it on LinkedIn, signed up immediately in excitement, and only afterward realized that the event was in North Carolina and she did not live here. That is how hungry women are for rooms like this.
HER SAY was never meant to be a networking event. It was designed as an intimate gathering for women who are done doing it alone and ready to cultivate real growth, powerful connection, and collective momentum. Wine, cocktails, mocktails, and hors d’oeuvres set the tone, but what made the evening special was not what was in the glasses. It was what was spoken out loud.
We intentionally cut through the tired questions. No “What do you do?” No “Who do you work for?” No polite resume exchanges. Instead, we asked the questions that land deeper.
- Where do you need to stop shrinking?
- What do you need to let go of to step into your next level?
- What belief is keeping you small?
- What are you over-performing in that no longer serves you?
And the women showed up.
Not performative. Not guarded. Real.
Women of all ages and stages named perfectionism as the thing that keeps them circling instead of leaping. Imposter syndrome surfaced again and again, even in women with impressive titles and decades of experience. Some were navigating breakups and divorces. Some were leaving marriages that no longer aligned. Some were building businesses from scratch. Some were stepping into entirely new identities. Across industries and life stages, the throughline was the same: each woman was ready to expand, and she was tired of pretending she wasn’t.
The flow of the evening mattered. We began with small, curated rounds of speed networking. Three women who did not know one another sat together for seven minutes and answered one or two of the deeper questions. Then they rotated. That structure created immediate authenticity. By the time we transitioned into open conversation, there was no small talk left. The room was already warm.
And then we moved outside.
I led what I call the shedding ceremony. Each woman wrote down what she was ready to release. The belief she no longer wanted to carry. The habit of over-performing. The story that kept her playing safe. We crumpled the papers, walked outside to the fire, and one by one, placed them into the flames.
It was not symbolic in theory. It was literal.
Paper burned. Ash floated. Shoulders dropped.
There is something powerful about watching the thing that has been living quietly in your mind turn to smoke.
What made it even more special was that it did not end when the night did. We gathered everyone’s contact information and shared the full list so that the connections could continue. The feedback was unanimous. The women did not just enjoy the event. They felt seen. They felt connected. They felt expanded.
HER SAY was curated. Intentional. Electric. And it was only the beginning.
This is what HER Collective is about. Not surface networking. Not collecting business cards. Creating rooms where ambition is welcomed, not minimized. Where AI and leadership are discussed in the same breath. Where women name their sticky floors and decide, together, to rise above them.
If you were in the room, you felt it.
If you were not, there will be another one. And you will want to be there.
Because something shifts when women stop shrinking.
And once it shifts, it does not go back.
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Learn more about HER Collective here: https://www.joinhercollective.com
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