Borrowed Confidence and the Power of the Right Room

I met up this week with a former coaching client I hadn’t seen in almost three years, and I left that conversation feeling deeply reminded of why this work matters.

When I first started working with Sarah* (names have been changed!) she was freshly divorced and standing at a major crossroads in her life and career. She was smart, experienced, and capable, but she was also tired in the specific way that comes from carrying too much for too long without enough support. Her confidence had taken a hit, and it showed in how cautiously she approached decisions she was more than qualified to make.

At the time, she was interviewing for new roles and quietly questioning whether she was really ready for what she wanted next. One of those interviews was with McKinsey.

She told me later that the interview felt less like a traditional evaluation and more like an audition. It required her to step into a version of herself she hadn’t fully claimed yet. She wasn’t sure she belonged there, even though her background and instincts clearly said otherwise.

My role wasn’t to give her certainty or map out her entire future. It was to help her take one step at a time. To borrow confidence long enough to try the thing. To stay curious instead of shutting herself down. To trust that even six months in the right room could change the trajectory of everything that followed.

She stayed for two years.

When we sat across from each other this week, the difference was unmistakable.

The Sarah I met years ago was thoughtful but restrained, careful about how much space she took up, and hesitant to fully name what she wanted. The woman in front of me now has a calm authority that doesn’t need to announce itself. She knows what she is capable of. She understands her value. She makes decisions with intention rather than apology.

She is now leading AI strategy at a global company, planning her next move proactively, and advocating for herself with clarity. She is asking for education, influence, and scope, not permission.

What struck me most, though, had nothing to do with her title or her resume.

The real transformation was her presence.

Presence is what shifts when a woman stops asking whether she is allowed to want more and starts deciding what she actually wants. It is the difference between shrinking to fit the room and shaping the room by how you show up in it. It changes how others respond to you, but more importantly, it changes how you respond to yourself.

That shift is worth everything.

It is also why I built HER Collective.

So many women in corporate America do not need to be fixed, trained, or pushed harder. They need space, perspective, and support while they remember who they already are. They need to hear their own thinking out loud, test decisions safely, and stop navigating career-defining moments in isolation.

You do not need to have your entire life figured out to take the next step. You do not need perfect confidence to move forward. Sometimes you just need the right room, the right conversation, and permission to start. HER Collective is where you'll find just that.

If you are standing on the edge of something bigger and quietly wondering whether you are ready, you do not have to do that alone. Borrow our confidence until you remember your own.

You already have more presence than you think.