Job Hugging: Why Women Are Holding On to Jobs That Burn Them Out and How They Can Move Forward

25 minutes ago

12 min read

Woman in a gray cardigan at her laptop late at night, stressed about job hugging and burnout

Erica Anderson Rooney is an ex-CPO turned executive coach and AI educator on a mission to get more women into positions of power and keep them there. She is the author of The AI Gap (2026), host of the Glass Ceilings & Sticky Floors and AI Voice or Victim podcasts, and NC Chapter Lead for Women Applying AI. Her SNAP and AI Continuum frameworks are taught to thousands of women through CHIEF, WICT, and Fortune 500 leadership programs. She is the sought-after speaker at the intersection of women, AI, and leadership.

It's Sunday night and your stomach is already in a knot about Monday. You open the job boards, scroll for ten minutes, close the tab, and tell yourself that now is a bad time to leave. Then you do the same thing next Sunday. This is called the “Sunday Scaries,” but maybe it happens to you every day. You know this feeling well.

Turns out there is another name for that, and it makes more sense to me. It's called job hugging, and a new survey says women in tech are doing it while carrying more stress, more discrimination and less clarity about where their careers are headed than the men sitting next to them.

Is this something that resonates with you? It sure resonated with me. I hugged a job for far too long because of the title it gave me, the security of a great salary and remote work. And y’all, I was freaking miserable. I loved my team, but hated what I was doing. I started working far too many hours, thinking if I caught up, maybe I wouldn’t be so burnt out… but we all know, the to-do list never ends. As soon as you cross something off the list, three more get added to it. And yet, I was hugging that job and hanging on for dear life.

That’s why I want to walk you through what the numbers say, what job hugging costs you, and what I want you to do this month to protect your peace.

Now, you might not work in tech, but you have to read this anyway. What I see in this data is something I hear on our HER Collective calls from women in every industry. It does not discriminate.

Raise your hand if you are tired. Raise your hand if your workload keeps growing. Raise your hand if nobody can tell you what the next level looks like for you or when you might get there. And raise your hand if every headline about AI makes you a little more afraid to rock the boat (because let’s be honest…you have probably witnessed a few layoffs.)

So you stay. You keep your head down. You hold on.

The Numbers Behind the Knot in Your Stomach

ISACA, a global association for IT and cybersecurity professionals, released its 2026 Tech Workplace and Culture survey on October 13, 2026. It surveyed 1,025 tech professionals worldwide between July 17 and August 3, 2026. Here’s the stat I wanted to share. It didn’t surprise me, but I live in this work.

Did you know that almost half of women in tech (47 percent) told ISACA they have experienced gender discrimination at work? That is up five points from 2024. Five points in two years. Ugh.

Not only that, but 64 percent of women in the ISACA survey reported work-related stress or burnout, compared with 57 percent of men. The top causes were heavy workload (48 percent), lack of resources (43 percent), unsupportive management (42 percent) and lack of appreciation (40 percent). (Which one resonates with you? One or two, or all of them?)

Tired woman at an office desk covered in stacked folders and sticky notes, rubbing her temples

Look closely at that list. Every item on it is something a company controls.

Here is what is depressing when it comes to help. ISACA found only 25 percent of employers offer mental health days. Another 23 percent of respondents said their employer offers no support at all, or they do not know whether it does. (If you don't know whether the support exists, it might as well not exist, am I right or am I right?)

I’m not done yet. The gaps keep going. ISACA found 52 percent of women are satisfied with their workplace culture, compared with 65 percent of men. Fifty-three percent of women feel they have enough authority to contribute to company strategy, compared with 66 percent of men. On purchasing decisions, the split was 32 percent of women versus 52 percent of men.

Say what? Now that last one stopped even ME. Twenty whole dang points. When you have no say over where the money goes, you have a hard time proving you belong at the next level.

Then there is this. ISACA's own summary of the 2026 survey says programs to ensure higher representation of women are declining (let’s be clear, that is absolutely due to the political landscape we are living in where all things DEIB are being threatened.) So the pressure on women is going up, and the help designed for women is going down, at the same time.

What Is Job Hugging, and Is It Costing You?

Job hugging means staying in a job you are unhappy in because other options feel too scarce or too risky to chase. It feels like safety, but for women it often costs real money, real growth and real health, because the stress stays and the raise you would get by moving never comes.

Julia Hermann, a tech leader at Giesecke+Devrient who is active in ISACA's SheLeadsTech program, described it at ISACA's Europe conference in Munich, as reported by ITPro on October 13, 2026: "People stick to their jobs, though they might not be totally satisfied." She also named the fear underneath it when you peel back the onion. Long probation periods make switching feel dangerous, because, in her words, "If you're the last to come, you're the first to go on the next layoffs." (I’ve seen that happen a time or two.)

Now, add AI to that. Hermann told ITdaily the stress lies mainly in the persistent open question of whether your job will be replaced by AI. She also said companies are not hiring extra people to run the new AI platforms, so the work lands on the people already there.

So just humor me and picture it. You are worried your job could be automated. You are doing extra work to roll out the very tools that worry you. And you are scared to leave because the newest person in the door feels like the first person out.

Of course you are holding on for dear life. Anyone would. You got bills to pay!

You're not crazy for feeling stuck. The data says the conditions are stacked against you. What I want for you is to make the stay or go decision on purpose, with your eyes open.

Staying Put Has a Price Tag

Here's why job hugging hits women's wallets hard.

The Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta tracks wage growth for people who change jobs and people who stay. In its September 2026 numbers, updated October 8, 2026, median wage growth for job switchers was 4.7 percent. For job stayers, it was 3.4 percent.

Woman at a home desk reviewing a pay stub and budget with a calculator and a mug of coffee

That gap compounds. Every year you stay in a role that has stopped paying you what you're worth, the next offer gets anchored to a smaller number.

And people are staying. The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported 3.1 million quits in August 2026, a quit rate of 1.9 percent, unchanged from the month before. When fewer people leave, fewer seats open up for everyone else.

ISACA asked the people who did change jobs in the past two years why they moved. The top reasons were better career prospects (29 percent) and higher pay (28 percent). The women and men who moved went looking for a path and a raise. Those are the exact two things a job hugger gives up.

The Atlanta Fed numbers make the math plain and simple. The raise for staying is usually smaller than the raise for leaving.

An Unclear Career Path at Work Is a Leadership Failure

The single biggest barrier to moving up in the ISACA survey was unclear career progression. Thirty-four percent of all respondents named it. For women, it was 41 percent, compared with 33 percent of men, according to The Next Web's reporting on the survey. (This was another stat that confirmed my experience as a Chief People Officer. So many organizations do not lay out the career paths, and if they do, they aren’t usually visible to the people it matters for!)

I believe a clear career path is something leaders owe their people. Defining the next level, the skills it takes and the timeline to get there is the manager's job and the company's job. (Do not get me wrong - YOU have to know what you want, and where you want to go. I am speaking of the company’s next levels, and the required skills inside.) When four in ten women have no idea, the people in charge have not drawn the map or made it visible. (My favorite saying in HR again… when it becomes a pattern, it becomes a problem.) One woman is one woman. But four in ten is a pattern.

The McKinsey and LeanIn.Org Women in the Workplace 2025 report, published in December 2025, shows how this plays out early. Only 31 percent of entry-level women have a sponsor, compared with 45 percent of entry-level men. Women with sponsors are promoted 1.7 times as often as women without them. And only 54 percent of companies say women's career advancement is a high priority.

So when you feel like nobody has told you how to get to the next level, you are reading the room correctly. Fewer people are speaking for you, and too few companies are making it a priority.

Some of what holds women back is a glass ceiling somebody else built. Some of it is a sticky floor we have been taught to stand on. I break down how to tell which one you're facing in my Sticky Floors vs. Glass Ceilings framework.

Five Moves to Make Before You Decide to Stay or Go

None of these require you to quit tomorrow. They are about getting your power back, so whatever you decide, you decide it with information.

1. Name exactly what you are holding on to

Get a piece of paper and finish this sentence: "I am staying because..." Write down every answer. The health insurance. The boss you like. The fear of being last in and first out. The vesting date. The fact that you are too tired to update your resume.

Some of those are good reasons to stay. Some of them are fear wearing a sensible outfit and a cute pair of shoes that you wouldn’t be able to buy if you didn’t have this guaranteed salary. Once you see them written down, you can tell which is which, and you can put a date on the ones that have an end date.

2. Ask for your career path in writing

If your path is unclear, ask for it, and ask in a way that leaves a record, because receipts matter. Book 30 minutes with your manager and bring three questions. What does the next level look like here? What is the gap between where I am and where that role is? What is a realistic timeline if I close that gap?

Two women at an office table, one taking notes in a notebook while they talk through a career plan

Then send a short email afterward summarizing what you heard, creating the paper trail. If your manager cannot answer those three questions, that is information too. It tells you how much the company has invested in your future, and it gives you something concrete to bring to your skip level or HR.

3. Get in front of the people who decide

Years ago, I reported to a director who reported to a VP. When that VP announced he was leaving, I never imagined applying for his job. Three other directors with far more experience and tenure were going for it, so little me did not want to rock the boat and apply. I thought that would send a message of arrogance and maybe stupidity, after all, the three directors had far more experience than I did.

Then the VP himself, my skip level, told me to apply anyway. He said, "Sometimes it's not necessarily about getting the role, but getting in front of the right people, even when you're in these big organizations."

So I applied. I went through the full interview process. I got face time with C-level executives I would not have been in a room with otherwise. Spoiler alert: I did not get the job. But the exposure was priceless. And the lesson has stuck with me ever since. Put yourself in the room.

That is when I learned you do not have to take every rung one at a time. Sometimes you skip a few. When your path is unclear, applying for the stretch role, even one you may not get, puts your name in the mouths of the people who make the map. (Turns out, I heard from a very reputable source that after my interview, I made the short list, and almost got the job!)

Woman in a navy blazer walking into a glass-walled conference room where executives are meeting

4. Test the market quietly

I don’t want you to think that you need to leave to find out what you are worth. Just start having conversations this month with people outside your company in roles you might want. Update your resume. Look at what the posted salaries are for your level.

Remember the Atlanta Fed numbers. People who switch tend to see bigger raises than people who stay. Knowing your market number gives you something to bring to your current employer, and it gives you a real choice.

Ask AI to help with the busywork. Paste a job posting you like into ChatGPT, Claude or Copilot along with your resume and ask it to list where your experience matches and where it falls short. It takes five minutes and saves you a weekend of second-guessing.

5. Put a boundary around the burnout

The ISACA data showed heavy workload and lack of resources as the top two drivers of burnout. If extra AI rollout work landed on your desk with no extra people, that is a workload conversation, and you are allowed to have it.

Go to your manager with your current list of projects and ask which two should come off if this new one goes on. Ask whether your company offers mental health days, since nearly a quarter of tech workers in the survey did not know or said they get no support. Then use the days.

Burnout makes every decision look smaller. Protect your energy first, so the stay or go decision is made by the rested version of you.

The Bigger Picture for Women at Work

Here is what worries me. Discrimination is up. Burnout is higher for women. Women see a murkier path forward. And the programs meant to bring more women in are shrinking. Meanwhile AI is changing what every job looks like, and I worry the women who feel least secure will be the last to reach for the new roles it creates.

If you lead a team, this one is on you too. Sit down with every woman on your team this quarter and draw the map with her: the next role, the skills, the timeline, who will sponsor her. Look at who is absorbing the AI rollout work with no added headcount. Fix that before you lose her to the competitor who will.

I talked with Anna Radulovski, founder of Coding Girls, about why women remain underrepresented in tech leadership in our Glass Ceilings & Sticky Floors episode Shattering the Silicon Ceiling. The ISACA numbers this year tell me that conversation is more urgent than ever.

For more on protecting your energy at work, our Boundaries & Burnout articles are a good place to start.

What I Want You to Take From This

Staying can be the right call when you choose it with your eyes open. Find out what you are holding on to, ask for your path in writing, get in front of the people who decide, know your market number, and protect your energy while you figure it out.

Your authority at work grows every time you make a decision on purpose. That includes the decision to stay.

You Do Not Have to Decide This Alone

This is exactly why HER Collective exists. Every week we meet live for group coaching with hot seat time, so you can bring your stay or go question and get real answers from women who have made both choices. Members also get monthly expert masterclasses on topics like negotiation and executive presence, hands-on AI training built for women who do not work in tech, and custom AI career tools like a Resume Revamper and skills-gap analysis. Join us at https://www.joinhercollective.com/joinher. We saved you a seat.

I am cheering you on.

Erica

Frequently Asked Questions

What is job hugging?

Job hugging is staying in a job you are unhappy in because other options feel scarce or risky. ISACA's 2026 Tech Workplace and Culture survey found women in tech report more burnout than men and less clarity about their career path, which makes holding on feel safer. It often costs pay and growth over time.

Do you get a bigger raise by switching jobs?

Often, yes. The Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta's Wage Growth Tracker showed median wage growth of 4.7 percent for job switchers in September 2026, compared with 3.4 percent for people who stayed. You do not have to leave to benefit. Knowing your market number gives you a stronger hand in your current pay conversation too.

What should I do if my career path at work is unclear?

Ask your manager three questions in writing: what the next level looks like, what gap stands between you and it, and what a realistic timeline is. Then get in front of the people who decide promotions. HER Collective members practice these conversations live every week, so you walk in with a plan.